Stood still, pushed around by the crowd
Lost in the sea of faces
Which way would you go?
What path would you choose?

You saw optimistic faces, pleased grins,
disappointed tears, frustrated scowls
Which of them are you having on your face?
Do you even know which face is yours?

Lost in crowd, going along with the flow
Losing your way in the sea of people
Which way did you go?
What path did you choose?

Closing your eyes would not make a difference
You have already lost yourself in the crowd
Failing to reach out to your own reality
They slipped past your fingertips

Which path are you walking on?
Are you imagining that you are walking?
Are you just being pushed along the path?
Are you still the ‘you’ that you want?

Our Ending that Never Was

You pulled me up
Helped me stand on my own two feet
You let me held on as we walked together

All I did was burdening you
With my weight, my liability, and my responsibilities
But never once you complained
With your own smile
You brightened up my world
You told me it’s all right and you don’t mind

There’s no chance for me to lend a hand to you
You were here with me
Yet you seemed so far, out of my reach

You always look forward, but not at me
My heart yearns for you
Not even once I told you

I wish I could keep you here with me
I wish I could make you look at me
But if you did, it wouldn’t be by your own will
And I don’t want that

So I kept silent
And do the only thing I could do
I’ll let you go when you meet the person you need
But until then, can I love you?
Can I keep the memories of you and loving you inside me?

Not that I have someone like that… oh wait. Well, he did helped me… But not that he’d know what…

My sis’s national-exam’s soon, there’s a high chance of her passing the exam so I’m not so worried about that. Five days before their exam was the High-schoolars’ national exam for third years.

For them to prepare for the exam, the school lets them go home early, skipping afternoon classes. But they didn’t actually. Some of them played with small fireworks at school, it’s pretty noisy. But I guess it’s a way to cherish the day. After all, when the exam’s over they’re all gonna go their separate ways. ;_;

I feel sad, seeing that. After all, I got 2 years left before that’ll happen to me. And I haven’t thought of where I’m going to study and what.

Lol, first post in a while and it’s a gloom one.

We got three periods to do whatever we want, whether it’s watching the student council’s show, staying in class or just walk around. I did all three, lol. It was fun, but as always, I can’t enjoy it too much.

I don’t want anything happy to pass, and that’s why I’m always wanting the day to slow down, just a little…

The most fun part was actually when the class sang together, with a guitar accompanying. I like those kinds of songs, the one that you sing together with friends.
Lol, for short, I like friend-bondings.

It was just more than 24h ago when that happened…
I feel… sad…

In moments, I’m gonna be fifteen…

Doing fine with the new classmates and seatmate. Though, the class monitor is such a brat… And he sits behind me. Blergh. He could be so noisy at times… But he’s a fun and nice guy.

I’d just took a nice sky pic, two actually, but it’s the same view. Lol. I like how it looks. If anyone wants to see, I wouldn’t mind sharing.

I didn’t bother watching 2012 and New Moon. XD Since it doesn’t interest me much obviously, and I read the books thank you. Zombieland’s awesome though. Makes me want some Twinkies xP.

Wonder how I can move this to LJ though. I wanna post icons and fics (maybe) there… Nyaa…

Guess this’ll do for the moment. Cyaaa~
… Did I mention tomorrow’s my birthday? I’m one step closer to the end, yay! XP

Well… looking at the newest class arrangement today, I’d say nothing much had changed. I found myself feeling a little bit guilty since I didn’t feel any remorse for the people who were pulled into the acceleration class.

And one of them was a person who sits beside me and listens to all my rants in class.

I’m a bad person, really. I hate someone who helped me all those times, but I like a person who ignores me and didn’t care if I died or I lived. Damn, I need a life. lol

If you (yeah, YOU who sits beside me in class) reads this, just sorry. It’s the truth. I probably deserve a kick on the stomach for that.

Now that I think of it, I’ve become quite a burden to everyone from the start. To my family cuz I’m not an obedient kid, to my classmates since they may consider me as friends while I just think of them as acquaintances, and to certain people whom I always shoved all my negative emotions to.

Maybe I’m being cynical here… who knows?

And, for a fact, you can’t possibly hate me more than I hate myself.
Really, I’m not being emo… (though my kindergarten pic says otherwise…) lol.

The scholarship tests’ probably coming soon. And that’s damn bad for me.  *sighs*

Anyways, I made a FB account after some laziness. It’s not that interesting either, FB… Wonder why people made it seem that good…

So….

…

… yeah. That’ll be all for today’s rant.

Honestly, I’m tired of writing something i’m satisfied with and when I pressed ‘Publish’, it was all deleted!

Maybe I should’ve converted this to LJ…

For the second time, there was a rumor about a bomb in the Elementary section. Uproar, of course. they got a few days holiday, and we got nothing.

WP, don’t you dare delete my posts. Damn you. I was writing it and you threw it away? Heh.

This update on the Reapers is for RoadBuster-nii and Hanako-nii, Shirou-nii and Jenn-nee, for spoiling me as an imouto. Thanks you three, . You always make me feel better if I’m not in a good mood!

“Hey Riz,” He greeted the sleepy reaper in charge of the Dumpster of the city, whose head was laid flat against the desk. Dumpster, as in a place to dump off spirits they retrieved.

“Mm…” The female reaper looked up groggily. Her long bangs nearly covered her eyes. “You brought dead-guy number 6?” She yawned, and scratched the side of her head

He rolled his eyes, “I wouldn’t be here if I haven’t, Riz. Wake up already.”

Riz blinked a few times, then shook her head, and stood up. “Right, stop choking dead-guy 6 Lexy.”

“I’m tellin’ ya, it’s Alex, Rizzy.”

“And I am telling you, stop choking Sixy there.”

“Got’cha Rizzy.”

Riz gave him a flat stare, then walked to a huge door to the right of her desk. The Door of Judgment, where the sins of the soul are Judged. The place of the Judgment was, of course, Hell. And oddly true to what most living ones knew (most of what they know are a bunch of lies) the one who was in-charge of the Judgment was both sides. Meaning from Up-there and Down-there.

Years ago, the one doing the Judging was someone from down-there, a reaper, one randomly chosen once every fifty years. But since a few reapers were too bored, they didn’t judge correctly. Heck, he heard they ‘accidently’ sent a priest to the deepest pits of down-there! And because of that incident, someone from up-there was sent to Middle-here. And the punishment the reapers in-fault, their years of being a reaper escalated to five-digit.

Alex would kill anyone, even someone from up-there, to escape from that horrible fate, or die trying. But killing would just add loads to his years. That’s just as bad, no, it’s worse.

Riz put her hands on both handles of the large (it was practically twice his height, and he was quite tall) door with oh-so-many creepy decorations. A joke made by some reapers who was already free-of-duty, when reapers were in charge of the Judgment. He hadn’t been a reaper yet at the time, too bad. That would, at least, reduce his boredom.

The door opened slowly and soundlessly, revealing eerie total blackness, and he felt Dead-Guy gulped. Hard. Well, he had stared at it blankly when it had been his turn, and the reaper in charge of the Dumpster at his town just snatched his wrist and threw him inside the door. Probably annoyed at his lack of nervousness.

But the door did gave him the creeps at first. On his first job as a reaper, he got to see the door open wide. And got a glimpse of Hell that was usually covered by the black veil that darkened the Judgment Room. The people there are hard-slavedrivers. Literally, for some of the Golems there.

Ah, those were old memories from nearly seven hundred years ago! He remembered nostalgically. And speaking of which, he felt the sudden urge to throw Dead-Guy now. He smirked inwardly, and shifted his attention to the lightly trembling guy. Good thing he was already holding the guy.

As soon as the door was wide enough for someone to enter, he swung his hand that was holding the guy backwards, and with more force he threw Dead-Guy through the door. Dead-Guy screamed all the way down there.

Alex snickered, and he heard Riz snorted.

“You do know that he’ll probably land on the Cauldron, right?” The female Reaper put her hand on her hips and cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, really?” He said nonchalantly, “I didn’t notice.” Alex walked away from the Door of Judgment as it started to close by itself.

Riz eyed him with flat amusement, “Don’t push the blame on me again. You won’t get out as easy as last time. And you had thrown it to a Golem’s head. This time, you threw a spirit into the Cauldron.“

The Cauldron was one of the most ‘popular’ punishment for the ones who entered Hell. Or at least, it had been the most popular one last time when he went there to give the current Judges a warm welcome, literally. Hey, he was bored, and the expression on the oh-so-holy guy was priceless.

The Cauldron was filled with magma, for the sinners to walk on and get their legs burned. The pain wouldn’t kill a spirit of the dead though, in fact, barely anything could kill a spirit. But the pain of having your legs burned to the bones was real. The flames could even scar spirits. And the Golems Down-there were also made by using frozen magma, taken from the Cauldron.

Boy, he better prepare himself for one uber long letter of complaint from Down-there. And hope for no more year additions. He had less than one-thousand years left, and additions on that number would suck. Real suck.

Hopefully, Lucy would be a little more merciful than last time, though he doubt the so-called spawn of Hell would be the slightest bit understanding. Last time some Reaper ‘beg for mercy’, Lucy had given the poor guy a sympathetic look, but tripled his punishment. Other Reapers took this to consideration and had put it on the Reaper’s Guidebook For Newbies.

They wrote the statement in blood (probably taken from Down-there), and the book’s page was black. Some newbies even avoided touching the RGFN and end up regretting it. Of course, it was rare to have an addition on the Grim Family, also known as Reaperhood. And since there wasn’t any new newbie in the last three hundred years, the RGFN was now with the Big Guy of the Reaperhood.

Alex stopped walking and shifted his head a little, his eyes on the nearly shut Doors. Seven hundred years as a Reaper. In those years, he had also brought few people he knew in front of the Door, in his first seventy years. He had been stationed in the town he had lived in. But after a (long) while, he had requested to be moved. The same town gets boring at times.

This city was his 119th area, if he counted correctly. But as for the name of the city, that he always forgot. Either way, this was better than a place that spoke gibberish like few times ago. That town is the weirdest one.

“Don’t space out. You still got twenty more deads to be retrieved, Lexy.” Something hard knocked him off his feet. Hey, he never said his balance was good.

He glared at the female Reaper who was actually newer compared to him. “I still have time Riz. It’s not like I have something to do later.”

“As a matter of fact, you do. The Meeting is fast-forwarded onto later tonight.” Riz replied.

Fuck. He wanted to grab a pillow and drown, sea or lake or kid’s pool, no matter. Just drown. “And, why are you telling me now instead of yesterday or other times?” He glowered.

“I forgot.” Riz said simply, and Alex had to stop himself from facepalming. Riz was the straight-forward kind of person, er, Reaper. But most times, she was the laziest, sleepiest and the most stubborn person Alex knew.

Not like he mind her bluntness or what. He actually felt comfortable with Riz, he didn’t need to worry about her backstabbing him, like some Reapers.

“You better hurry and pick them up.” Riz sat on her desk and slumped. “Call me up when you got all of them.” And she slept. Her head laid on her arms.

He faintly heard a snore from her. And he wanted to bang his head and faint.

I screwed up on Alex actually. He’s supposed to be more bored, and wouldn’t hesitate to be sadistic… But instead of sadistic, he’s mischievous. Not that same… :’(

Oh well… I’ll see what I can do about it…

He’s just so damn chatty! All too like Alexander.

Anyways, I bought a lot of anime lately. Code Geass R2: Hangyaku no Lelouch, Kaze no Stigma (wanted one for a while), Kurohitsuji, and Soul Eater. Haven’t watched most of em though. But drooling for em.

So, since I gotta go to school, cya.

School’s starting well… tomorrow, actually, since it’s midnight now…

Nyaa~

zzzz

Anyways, i talked with a friend bout how boring a reaper’s life is (probably…). After all, boredom’s the worst company. I made my version of it… posting a part o’ it here. btw, she writes her own version too… *headbang*

It’s probably real, real REAL bad, but comments please? i like writing things for fun…

The Bored Ones;

1. Reaper

He yawned in boredom as the wife of the dead man started sobbing in the middle of the funeral speech. He was leaning leisurely against the railing placed around the cemetery. Hey, nobody could see him. Why should he be polite? It’s not like he was actually invited here anyway.

He looked up, he sun was hot today. He wore all black, a common sight for funerals. But it’s not like he was visible to everyone there. He wondered for the nth time why people can stand wearing black in a hot day like this, even if it was a funeral. Well, the rule didn’t apply to him there.

Nearing the end of the speech, he started walking through the mourning crowd nonchalantly, towards the dead body inside the over-decorated and nailed casket. His hand easily went past the lid, pulling out a struggling translucent form, a spirit of the dead. He had grabbed the dead guy’s neck, no wonder the dead guy was clawing his hands.

He released his grip on the guy’s neck, the dead guy fell on his knees and panted for air. Spirits didn’t need to breathe, but they still did. Habit, maybe? He himself wasn’t breathing at all.

“Time’s up, dead guy. You gotta go now.” He said to the spirit, who was on his late fifties.

“Can’t I stay longer? My funeral is not yet over.” The spirit protested.

Noticing a black thread from the back of the spirit and going inside the casket, he realized he forgot to cut the thread connecting the body and the spirit. That could be fixed. Easily.

He willed his black scythe to appear, and it did, held by his right hand. The dead guy’s spirit tensed marginally. Probably thinking his head would be diced or something, oh he would love to do that, since usually he didn’t get to. Nope, sadly, that’s not his job. If it was, he wouldn’t hate this job for the boredom of it.

“W-what are you doing with that— that scythe?” The spirit questioned, his voice quivering. He could almost see the dead guy paling. He snorted inwardly at the thought, as if the whitest being could get any whiter.

Instead of replying, he raised the scythe above his head for dramatic effects and when it went down, the dead spirit whimpered. Hell, he was only cutting the thread! Why does everyone who sees him lifting his scythe ALWAYS cry or scream or whimper (or shriek, he remembered many girls shrieking)? But it is fun to scare ‘em a little, his mind piped in. And he agreed.

As soon as the spirit realized he was not hurt, the spirit looked at him hesitantly.

“Think I’m gonna cut your head off? You’re already dead, why should I do that?” He mocked, the blade of the scythe glinted behind him in the hot sun though nobody noticed. The spirit didn’t reply, but he noticed the spirit nearly frowned at him. “Now c’mon.” He said, and grabbed the spirit’s neck again. Of course, the spirit struggled again. He stifled an exasperated groan.

“You’re friggin’ dead. You don’t NEED air.” He said, “It’s a little uncomfortable, but get over it. You’re going with me like this, and I’ll rip off your mouth if you whine.”

The spirit stopped struggling, then he saw the realization on the spirit’s face. Still clutching the dead guy’s neck, he walked to the gates of the cemetery. But before he was fully out, he felt someone was staring at him. Intently.

One of those kids, his mind helpfully supplied. He looked around, searching for a dumbfounded face. The person, a female teen, was right behind him. She wore a plain black blouse and a knee-length skirt. Good-girl type, probably. A relative of the dead guy whom he was choking maybe? He never saw a girl like that around the neighborhood.

He gave her a sardonic smirk, then he walked out without looking back.

He is definitely telling his reaper-friends about the girl. Who knows, she might be fun to annoy. A few days free from boredom, any reaper would kill for that.

Since i don’t have an y idea of what they actually do… yeah…

Don’t you dare put this on any of your pages and say it’s yours yaddayaddayadda. I’ll haunt you for life. And I mean it.

F*ck, it’s not good, but it’s what I write, not you. so if you’re planning to rip this off, go grab a pillow and drown damnit…